It isn’t unusual to come across marketing copy that’s gone wrong.  You know what I’m talking about – that piece of mail that gets tossed after you’ve scanned the first sentence, the website that makes you feel like someone has attached weights to your retinas.  If you really examine where the writer lost you, you might be surprised to find that there is nothing wrong with the writing; the spelling is perfect, the words are all acceptable, and the grammar is faultless.  And that could be the problem.

You see, we don’t usually speak in full sentences.  And we rarely ever think if full sentences.  We are a people of fragmented thought and speech.  So when we read long pieces of copy and everything is “perfect,” it tends to sound stilted, text-bookish, and, frankly, boring.

Sure, you need to come off as a knowledgable person when you write, but do you really want your brochure to sound like your eighth grade English teacher?   Do you want your readers to picture a Shakespearian character when they read your copy?  A school marm out of Dickens?  I didn’t think so.

If you take a look at modern copy that keeps your attention and moves you through its message before you toss it, you are likely to find fragments, non-sentences, and messages that would take three paragraphs to explain verbally boiled down to three or four words.  Want a great example?  Look up the UPS website.  Their writers can tell an entire story in a few words.  It’s magic, baby, marketing magic.  Need a good pattern for your next mailing? Study a Verizon postcard.  Few words, big impact. 

 Next time your inner editor aches to bleed red ink all over a piece of copy, remember that sometimes it really is the thought – and not the grammar – that counts.   

All the best,

Mary

My writing group (http://bit.ly/GRRWG) is all for writing challenges, such as National Novel Writing Month (www.nanowrimo.org), fondly referred to as NaNo.  We’re not particularly crazy about the timing – during the busy month of November.  Last year, we moved it to the winter.  It was such a success, we’re duplicating it.  Between meetings, February 12th to March 12th, we’re challenging each other to write 32K.  A gift certificate is on the line for one of the finishers.  This year, as a fundraiser for our “I Always Wanted to Write a Book” Conference in October, we’re asking for a small entry fee, with a prorated monetary “contribution” for every 1K not written.

I’m very excited about the story I’ll start next month.  I know the purpose of NaNo is flat out, no-holds-barred writing, giving the subconscious a chance to go off on tangents and bring brilliance to the story, but I like to have some structure.  So, I’ve loosely outlined “Ghost Lover” in a way that won’t squelch the creative process.  It’s not quite “pantsing” but it’s a far cry from my usual spreadsheet micro-controlling way of plotting.

Here’s what I’m doing:

• Determine names.  Clare and her sisters Julie and Anna.  The hero is still nameless, but it begins with an “A”due to this complex, illogical naming system I have.
• Pick the hero and heroine’s occupations that fit the plot.  Clare is a caregiver.  “A” was more difficult, but I asked the muses/destiny/collective consciousness and they came through with a court appointed legal guardian.
• Do ghost research.  By studying different cultures and case studies, I now have the foundation for my worldbuilding.
• List the things that “have” to happen.   Clare has to do this, this and this.  “A” has to do this and that.  By writing down the important events in their story, I can put them in rough chronological order, which will give  me logical structure as I’m blowing through 32K in four weeks.
• Get back in the habit of writing every day.  Whether on the laptop or with a legal pad and pen, I’m starting to dedicate a specific time every day to the writing process.
• Get a manicure.  Sure, it sounds trite, but I’m going to be spending more time on the keyboard, so a nice manicure (in Senorita Rosalita by Opi) is a self indulgence I’m willing to pay for.

What about you?  Are you starting a new book soon?  What do you do to prepare for it?

In the world of copywriting, grant writing is one of the most talked of and least practiced endeavors.  Why?  It could be that many people like the idea of writing a grant until they find out all it involves. 

Grant writers have no room for error.  The readers of the grant proposal expect perfection and judge errors  harshly.  One must follow the grantor’s instructions exactly.  Furthermore, a misspelled word, a missed comma, an incomplete sentence, or transposed numbers translate into sloppy work practices, poor record keeping, and poor staffing in the minds of those who read the proposal.

Grants are as boring as oatmeal cooked with no salt.  Cardboard, man.  Beige.  Boards who read grants are not known for having a sense of humor, romance, or mystery.  There will be no metaphors, no similes, and no common-speak.  Everything in a grant must be stated in a straight forward manner with no superlatives that cannot be backed up by a study or three.  “Scouts have the time of their life while learning survival skills” becomes “Boy Scout participants learn survival skills in settings designed to promote interaction and social enjoyment.”  (Insert study results here)  Seriously?  Seriously.

Some grants are endless.  Want a federal grant?  Be prepared to type up 200 pages of grant-worthy material.   Be prepared to list every aspect of your business including business plans, hazmat preparation, salaries, cash flow right down to office supplies, history, and even things that many would consider private – like the disabilities of your employees. 

And don’t even think of getting a grant if you can’t get others to support your organization as well.  It’s funny, but foundations like to know that someone else thinks your project is worthy before they’ll make that judgement. 

Make sure you have some good friends in your corner.  Many grant forms will ask for letters of recommendation.  Get good ones.  If you’re applying for federal grants, get a top university to endorse you, a senator, andeven a movie star.  Whether they want to admit it or not, the people who read grants want to see those names – it helps them feel more secure in their decision.  They may think, “If Senator Bigandmighty says they’re great, I can always blame him if the funds are never seen again.”

And finally, be prepared to spend a ton of time.  It can take months to track down a grant for which your organization or project qualifies.  Once you find one, plan on spending 60-80 hours for a short proposal of 5-10 pages and 180-225 hours on a 180-200 page proposal. 

Do I write grants?  Yes.  Sometimes.  I like short proposals.  It can be interesting to learn about an organization, what they are working on, and how they enrich a community.  It’s a good challenge to put myself in the grant style of writing once in a while.  And it’s always a good exercise to see if I can manage, somehow, to make it somewhat interesting for the poor guy on the other side who has to read all that stuff.

Be prepared for surprises and frustration.  Know that everyone is going to want you to write a grant for them but be unwilling to pay you what it’s worth.  “Well… we’re a non-profit,” they’ll say.  Remind them that you are a for-profit.  Your expertise has been hard won, and your time is worth more than five bucks an hour. 

And one more thing – make sure you try it if you get the chance.  You’ll learn more than you can ever imagine about business, the world around you, writing, and your abilities as a writer.

Have a great day,

Mary Timmer