As part of a running assignment, my English students write a descriptive paragraph every day. Each Monday, I receive seven paragraphs on everything from Marine Corps training camps to the basics on candles.
At first, I judged the paragraphs on how well I could picture the item described after reading the description. I wanted the students to think of things like measurements, colors, smells, tastes, sounds, and anything else that would give me, the reader, a clear picture of their item for the day.
Next, I asked them to work in a more personal perspective. Did they love the item? Did it dredge up bad memories? Did it remind them of their grandma? Did they treasure it? Why?
Now that the students are getting used putting these thoughts on paper, I’m starting to coach them on their actual writing. This week, I’m going to show them how to virtually eliminate the phrases “there is” or “there are” from their writing. Why? Because doing so almost always changes a sentence from passive tense to active, making it more energetic. It also brings the reader one step closer to the subject of the sentence.
Try it on your own writing this week. When you read through your work, zone in on “there is,” and make an effort to rewrite the sentence without it.
After my students learn to eliminate as many “there” phrases as possible, I’ll start to pick on the word “that.” “That” has been my nemesis in writing for many years. My critique partner, Cheryl, gave up circling them in my manuscripts and told me to do a word search instead. Five times out of ten I can get rid of it. Cheryl says I should increase my efforts until I’ve chopped eight out of ten. She’s probably right. Anyway, you may improve your writing with the same trick – the elimination of “that.”
Have a great week. This week, I’ll be working on my next book along with a websites and a fundraising letter. Will you be writing? If so, what?
All the best, Mary
